Blue Morning Sublime Translation Issues

I've bought many Sublime books since they started up and have been mostly happy with their translations so far, that is until Blue Morning. When I read volume one of Hidaka Shoko's Blue Morning (translation by Jocelyne Allen), there were a couple of passages that I found somewhat confusing; I put it down to the cryptic nature of the plot and didn't think too much of it. However, in the very first chapter of the second volume there is a passage confusing enough to distract me and call into question the accuracy of the translation.

I've compared it to the Japanese text and really think it could've done better. My Japanese is pretty mediocre, my translations are done with the help of a dictionary and I'm totally not sure if they're correct, but even so, they still seem to make more sense than the Sublime version.

This is the passage beginning on page 23 of the print edition, where Akihito finds an odd book in the library.

Sublime text:
"Was this book always here?
Wasn't there a poetry collection here?
It's totally different from the other books."

It's implied that there isn't currently a poetry collection there and that the book in question is not a book of poems. However, Katsuragi goes on to explain that the book was placed there by a former student who was fond of poetry and the like; this implies that the book actually is a volume of poems, which contradicts the above text.

Japanese text:
"こんな本あったか?
この辺り詩集の原本 じゃないか
他の書物とは全く毛色が違うな"

Romaji:
"Konna hon attaka?
Kono atari shishuu no genpon janaika
Hoka no shomotsu to wa mattaku keiro ga chigauna"

My translation:
"Was there always a book like this here?
Aren't all these books here original editions of poetry collections?
This one is a completely different type from the other books."

So what I think Akihito is saying is that it is a poetry book but of a different kind to the other poetry books around it.

~~~

Here's a comparison of another passage from chapter 1 where the Sublime translation just seems incorrect, page 6 of the print edition.

Sublime text:
"The houseboy Amamiya informed me that you're quite strong in Math and languages, but poor in theory, reading and the like.
He intimated that your head is somehow too thick and that finances can't make it through."

Again, there's a slight contradiction here, Katsuragi's good at maths but bad at finance? Sure, there's more to finance than maths but the remark doesn't quite follow on from the previous criticism of his theory/reading.

Japanese text:
"書生の雨宮から聞いたが, お前は数学や語学には強いが論読などは苦手なようだな
どうにも頭が固すぎるというか, 融通がきかないという口振りだったが"

Romaji:
"Shosei no Amamiya kara kiita ga, omae wa suugaku ya gogaku ni wa tsuyoi ga rondoku nado wa nigatena you dana
Dounimo atama ga katasugiru to iu ka, yuuzu ga kikanai to iu kuchiburi datta ga"

My translation:
"I heard from the live-in student, Amamiya, that you are strong in Math and languages but weak in discourse and the like;
that somehow you are too obstinate, that you are not adaptable in your opinions."

The two translations of the second line differ significantly due to the phrase 融通がきかない . 融通 on its own can mean finance, but 融通がきく taken as a phrase means to be flexible (きかない is the negative conjugation of きく). Also, I've used a different meaning of 論読, translating it as 'discourse' instead of 'theory/reading'. I can't find a dictionary entry for 論読 but 論 can mean theory or discussion so the word 'discourse', meaning written or spoken discussion of a subject, sounds appropriate to the context.

~~~

Another line that I immediately knew was wrong from the context, chapter 8 page 97, when Amamiya visits the Kuze house.

Sublime text:
"My! All that aside, it really is only the maids I don't know!
No matter how many years have passed."

This line indicates that Amamiya knows everyone in the household except for the maids, yet he goes on to say that it's only Kiku who recognises him and that he was nearly chased out, which is clearly a contradiction. Even without checking the original text, it's easy to guess that he's actually saying he sees only unfamiliar faces.

Japanese text:
"いや, それにしても知らない女中ばっかりだねえ!
いくら十年ぶりとはいえ"

Romaji:
"Iya, sorenishitemo shiranai jochuu bakkari danee!
Ikura juunenburi to wa ie!"

My translation:
"My, even so, I really don't know any of the maids!
Even if you say it's been ten years."

~~~

These examples are the few that I remember off the top of my head, I'm afraid I can't be bothered to check both volumes line by line but it's likely that these are not the only questionable lines dotted around. Some readers might have read or heard of the infamously bad DMP translation of Yoneda Kou's Doushitemo Furetakunai and won't be surprised to learn that the translator of that manga is the one and same now working on Blue Morning.

Again, I must stress that my Japanese is shaky at best (I learn from playing BL/otome games lol) so please do feel free to slap me down and correct me where I'm wrong. However, even if my translations are way off the mark, the above examples still serve to illustrate the inconsistencies in the text which should have been spotted by the editor. The majority of the translation reads fine so it's not like there are mistakes on every other page, it's just unfortunate that even a few blips can be enough to cast doubt on the entire translation.


Update: Another translation comparison added.

This is a passage from volume 1 that I found confusing and, sure enough, it doesn't bear up well under comparison. Selected lines from chapter 4 pages 149-150.

Sublime text:
"I asked the Dean and he said he'd attend.
...
As long as he brings in money, he can hide his origins.
...
I doubt he takes after his mother to that extent."

Japanese:
"学園長に聞いたが首席だそうだな
...
金さえ積めば出自など隠せるものだよ
...
あそこまで母親に似るとは思わなっかたからな "

"Gakuenchou ni kiita ga shuseki da sou dana
...
Kane sae tsumeba shuuji nado kakuseru mono dayo
...
Asoko made hahaoya ni niru to wa omowanakkata karana"

My translation:
" I asked the school Dean and it seems that he's the top student.
...
As long as you have money, even something like his origins can be covered up.
...
I didn't think he'd come to resemble his mother so strongly."

Blue Morning 2 by Hidaka Shoko

Rating: 6
Sublime 2013 - Tokuma Shoten 2009
5+ volumes
Translation: Jocelyne Allen

Volume 1 ended at an extremely unsatisfactory point with student Viscount Kuze Akihito forcing his butler Katsuragi Tomoyuki into a relationship in exchange for acceding to Katsuragi's mission of promoting Akihito through the ranks of society. Most of the volume had been spent on setting up the story, its characters and background, and when the romantic storyline made a first showing late in the volume, it did so rather abruptly and unpleasantly with an act of sex shadowed by violent overtones. I didn't think much of either character by the end of the book and hoped that volume two would change my mind. Which it has done. This volume has totally got me rooting for the couple and fearing for what can only be a future laced with tragedy for them.

The main problem with the first volume was that there was very little to like about Katsuragi. The story was mostly told from Akihito's point of view which established the character of Katsuragi as a cold, efficient, unflappable butler. This second volume is told mostly from Katsuragi's point of view and what a difference that makes because finally we get a character we can sympathise with. The reader is fed tidbits about Katsuragi's mysterious past through the course of the volume and confirms what was hinted at in the first volume, that Katsuragi is not a biological son of the Katsuragi family and was taken in by the former Viscount Kuze with a view to raising him as the Kuze successor, a plan that ended with the birth of an heir, Akihito. The story paints a picture of a young boy, rejected by what he thought was his birth family, given the chance to begin afresh with a new family only to be rejected again, in the end not belonging to either family and having no place in the world except for the job given him by the former Viscount. It's easier to understand Katsuragi's obsession with his task of raising Akihito, given the sad circumstances of his upbringing.

What really makes Katsuragi a likeable character, and not just a pitiable one, however, is the change in feelings he experiences, the thawing of his coldness. Akihito is relentless with his love, demanding that Katsuragi look at him as a person and not as the Viscount Kuze, and bit by bit, Katsuragi does start seeing Akihito for the person he is, for the man he is becoming, and as new feelings develop inside Katsuragi, he begins to stray from the single-mindedness of his mission. He's never known love of any kind in his life and he doesn't know how to deal with Akihito or his own emotions. As despicable as Akihito's behaviour is, his very forcefulness turns out to be his redeeming feature as nothing less will get through to the Katsuragi so entrenched in the belief that he must fulfil his duties to prove his worth.

This second volume is all about the romantic storyline and it's developing into a strong one; unfortunately, this happens at the expense of everything else. To put it bluntly, Hidaka just isn't very good at writing intrigue. The plot requires Katsuragi to be a manipulator but the bare bones scenes of him wheeling and dealing in business and society are not particularly interesting. There's a distinct weakness in the secondary characters. Their sole purpose is to provide information about Katsuragi and Akihito and there is not a single one that I find interesting in and of themselves. Anything of consequence that happens in the plot, and there is very little that does happen, only occurs in order to further the romantic storyline. The result is that whenever the story strays from the romantic thread, it becomes rather dull and has the feel of a mandatory scene required to move the plot along. However, Katsuragi and, to a lesser extent, Akihito are strong enough characters that they carry the story comfortably, enough so that the slower patches of the narrative can be endured for the sake of learning more about the pair.

On the romantic front, volume two has delivered and I look forward to seeing how this relationship unfolds. On the story front, I'm disappointed. The plot is thin and I see little hope of that improving. On the series as a whole so far, it's interesting but not exciting. I'll still continue reading but I doubt I'll be jumping on the fan bandwagon for this particular series.

~~~~~

There are some issues with the translation which I've written about in a separate post: here.

Blue Morning 1 by Hidaka Shoko

Rating: 6
Sublime 2013 - Tokuma Shoten 2009
4+ volumes
Translation: Jocelyne Allen

"At only ten years of age, Akihito Kuze suddenly inherits the Kuze viscountship after his father’s death. The family's capable butler, Tomoyuki Katsuragi, takes over the task of raising the boy, serving as his tutor. However, the handsome and intelligent Katsuragi, well respected even among the aristocracy, remains cool towards his charge. Akihito finds himself relentlessly drawn to Katsuragi, frustrated by the distance between them and driven to discover the reasons why." (Sublime)

Hidaka Shoko has been a consistently popular BL mangaka for the past few years and Blue Morning is one of her most popular works to date. It arrives on western shores on the waves of much hype and enthusiasm from fans in and outside of Japan and, having liked a number of Hidaka's other titles, I've been eager to check this out.

What struck me as I read through this first volume is that the story is intended from the start to be a multi-volume series, which is not the norm in BL manga where the more common practise is for magazines to test the waters with one or two chapters and go from there depending on reader reception. Afforded the luxury of so many chapters to work with, Hidaka really takes the time to set up the plot, flesh out the characters and create a believable period setting for those characters to inhabit. You'd be forgiven for forgetting that you're reading a BL romance since there's hardly any sign of a love story until the last third or so of the book. Instead, the bulk of the story is used to establish the complex relationship between the protagonists as guardian and ward, set against the backdrop of, what I take to be, Taishou-era (1912-1926) aristocratic society.

Hidaka has an easy measured writing style, her characters are intelligent and articulate. The story is serious in tone but never melodramatic. The period setting provides an interesting study of the sociopolitical classes of the time. It's nice to read some plot-driven drama in BL for a change and though the intrigue elements are rather superficial, the story remains engaging throughout. I enjoyed reading this first volume and it shows potential for a good series, however, I was never gripped by the story, and certainly not by the romance, what little of it that is seen near the end.

The story is told mostly from Akihito's point of view but the central figure of interest is undoubtedly the enigmatic Katsuragi. No mere butler, Katsuragi is the acting head of the Kuze house, in charge of the estate's considerable finances as well as being guardian to the young viscount. Katsuragi himself is the third son of a prominent, though untitled, family, taken in by the Kuze household at a young age, for reasons as yet undisclosed. He's a masterful operator in society, well connected and something of a financial whiz. He's also not adverse to using his body in order to curry favour with influential people of both sexes, as Akihito discovers early on after witnessing an intimate scene. Akihito is fascinated by his exceptional butler from their very first meeting and wishes to earn his approval and affection. However, the cool Katsuragi makes it clear from the start that there is to be no such affectionate relationship and maintains a firm distance between them throughout Akihito's youth.

Katsuragi is an interesting character and it's easy to understand Akihito's fascination with him. What is harder to do is to find much in Katsuragi to sympathise with. He creates a bad impression from the start for being so heartless towards a lonely orphaned kid yearning for affection. Yes, he must have his motivations but since they remain shrouded in mystery for the remainder of the volume it's hard to sympathise. He's single-mindedly set on carving out an illustrious political future for Akihito, regardless of Akihito's feelings on the matter. Since we learn little about his past and don't know why he's so driven towards this goal, it's more natural to feel for Akihito who's being railroaded along. Of course, there wouldn't be much of a plot if everything was explained in the first act but in the meantime I, for one, need a bit more to like about the guy. His attitude towards Akihito ranges from strict to outright mean. I feel sorry for Akihito for falling for such a jerk. It's implied that Katsuragi is an alluring man with many admirers but since we're shown only the most fleeting glimpses of that side of him, a tame kiss here, a dishevelled appearance there, I'm nowhere near sold on his appeal yet.

Akihito is an easier character to like, that is, until the romantic thread of the plot kicks in and his frustrations lead him to a desperate act, after which I'm holding off judgement on him until the next volume. The romance, which begins abruptly and very unpromisingly late in this volume, needs considerable work doing to it before it becomes even palatable. At the end of volume one it consists of pathetic one-sided love on Akihito's side and stone-cold indifference on Katsuragi's. It promises to be an angst-ridden relationship though I hope we'll see a kinder side to Katsuragi in coming volumes and better behaviour from Akihito.

I have confidence in Hidaka's writing that the story will improve and so I'm still looking forward to the next volume. Despite my rather negative review, I do consider this a good start to the series and I know sensei is good at writing slow-burning love so I'm hopeful that the next volumes will deliver.

~~~~~

There are some issues with the translation which I've written about in a separate post: here.