Tuesday 1 October 2013

Blue Morning Sublime Translation Issues

I've bought many Sublime books since they started up and have been mostly happy with their translations so far, that is until Blue Morning. When I read volume one of Hidaka Shoko's Blue Morning (translation by Jocelyne Allen), there were a couple of passages that I found somewhat confusing; I put it down to the cryptic nature of the plot and didn't think too much of it. However, in the very first chapter of the second volume there is a passage confusing enough to distract me and call into question the accuracy of the translation.

I've compared it to the Japanese text and really think it could've done better. My Japanese is pretty mediocre, my translations are done with the help of a dictionary and I'm totally not sure if they're correct, but even so, they still seem to make more sense than the Sublime version.

This is the passage beginning on page 23 of the print edition, where Akihito finds an odd book in the library.

Sublime text:
"Was this book always here?
Wasn't there a poetry collection here?
It's totally different from the other books."

It's implied that there isn't currently a poetry collection there and that the book in question is not a book of poems. However, Katsuragi goes on to explain that the book was placed there by a former student who was fond of poetry and the like; this implies that the book actually is a volume of poems, which contradicts the above text.

Japanese text:
"こんな本あったか?
この辺り詩集の原本 じゃないか
他の書物とは全く毛色が違うな"

Romaji:
"Konna hon attaka?
Kono atari shishuu no genpon janaika
Hoka no shomotsu to wa mattaku keiro ga chigauna"

My translation:
"Was there always a book like this here?
Aren't all these books here original editions of poetry collections?
This one is a completely different type from the other books."

So what I think Akihito is saying is that it is a poetry book but of a different kind to the other poetry books around it.

~~~

Here's a comparison of another passage from chapter 1 where the Sublime translation just seems incorrect, page 6 of the print edition.

Sublime text:
"The houseboy Amamiya informed me that you're quite strong in Math and languages, but poor in theory, reading and the like.
He intimated that your head is somehow too thick and that finances can't make it through."

Again, there's a slight contradiction here, Katsuragi's good at maths but bad at finance? Sure, there's more to finance than maths but the remark doesn't quite follow on from the previous criticism of his theory/reading.

Japanese text:
"書生の雨宮から聞いたが, お前は数学や語学には強いが論読などは苦手なようだな
どうにも頭が固すぎるというか, 融通がきかないという口振りだったが"

Romaji:
"Shosei no Amamiya kara kiita ga, omae wa suugaku ya gogaku ni wa tsuyoi ga rondoku nado wa nigatena you dana
Dounimo atama ga katasugiru to iu ka, yuuzu ga kikanai to iu kuchiburi datta ga"

My translation:
"I heard from the live-in student, Amamiya, that you are strong in Math and languages but weak in discourse and the like;
that somehow you are too obstinate, that you are not adaptable in your opinions."

The two translations of the second line differ significantly due to the phrase 融通がきかない . 融通 on its own can mean finance, but 融通がきく taken as a phrase means to be flexible (きかない is the negative conjugation of きく). Also, I've used a different meaning of 論読, translating it as 'discourse' instead of 'theory/reading'. I can't find a dictionary entry for 論読 but can mean theory or discussion so the word 'discourse', meaning written or spoken discussion of a subject, sounds appropriate to the context.

~~~

Another line that I immediately knew was wrong from the context, chapter 8 page 97, when Amamiya visits the Kuze house.

Sublime text:
"My! All that aside, it really is only the maids I don't know!
No matter how many years have passed."

This line indicates that Amamiya knows everyone in the household except for the maids, yet he goes on to say that it's only Kiku who recognises him and that he was nearly chased out, which is clearly a contradiction. Even without checking the original text, it's easy to guess that he's actually saying he sees only unfamiliar faces.

Japanese text:
"いや, それにしても知らない女中ばっかりだねえ!
いくら十年ぶりとはいえ"

Romaji:
"Iya, sorenishitemo shiranai jochuu bakkari danee!
Ikura juunenburi to wa ie!"

My translation:
"My, even so, I really don't know any of the maids!
Even if you say it's been ten years."

~~~

These examples are the few that I remember off the top of my head, I'm afraid I can't be bothered to check both volumes line by line but it's likely that these are not the only questionable lines dotted around. Some readers might have read or heard of the infamously bad DMP translation of Yoneda Kou's Doushitemo Furetakunai and won't be surprised to learn that the translator of that manga is the one and same now working on Blue Morning.

Again, I must stress that my Japanese is shaky at best (I learn from playing BL/otome games lol) so please do feel free to slap me down and correct me where I'm wrong. However, even if my translations are way off the mark, the above examples still serve to illustrate the inconsistencies in the text which should have been spotted by the editor. The majority of the translation reads fine so it's not like there are mistakes on every other page, it's just unfortunate that even a few blips can be enough to cast doubt on the entire translation.


Update: Another translation comparison added.

This is a passage from volume 1 that I found confusing and, sure enough, it doesn't bear up well under comparison. Selected lines from chapter 4 pages 149-150.

Sublime text:
"I asked the Dean and he said he'd attend.
...
As long as he brings in money, he can hide his origins.
...
I doubt he takes after his mother to that extent."

Japanese:
"学園長聞いたが首席そう
...
金さえ積めば出自など隠せるものだよ
...
あそこまで母親似るとは思わなっかたから "

"Gakuenchou ni kiita ga shuseki da sou dana
...
Kane sae tsumeba shuuji nado kakuseru mono dayo
...
Asoko made hahaoya ni niru to wa omowanakkata karana"

My translation:
" I asked the school Dean and it seems that he's the top student.
...
As long as you have money, even something like his origins can be covered up.
...
I didn't think he'd come to resemble his mother so strongly."




8 comments:

  1. I´m so angry right now! please can you explain to me why Sublime hires the same translator as DMP? isn't more translators out there? no good one? is so difficult to translate Japanese language or is like they can´t do well their work? they are supposed to be professional translators for God´s sake! but seems like they even not bother to read the whole text once translated to see if it makes sense. God, some scalations groups does best jobs.

    Also can you explain to me why if these translators can´t do a good job DMP continue with them instead of change them? because I´m sure DMP knows about this problem but they´re not doing anything. They treat us like fools? we pay more than 10 dollars for a manga and they can´t give us a good translation? are they kidding me? God, I'm tired, at the beginning when I was reading DMP BL titles and couldn´t understand some text lines I thought it was my problem
    ( as I still learning English and I still not good at it), but after reading blogs I realized it wasn't.

    Almost everyone who purchase DMP BL titles knows about this problem... and now Sublime employs that person. I don't understand it. I don´t understand it because is a shame what that person did with a masterpiece like Doushitemo Furetakunai. I'm sorry, I'm very angry. If I wasn´t a true BL fan I would no longer buy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knows? I've always been mystified at how this translator keeps getting work from DMP, and half the DMP books I have are translated by her so she gets a lot, evidently the editors at DMP (if there are any) are useless. It's not like there aren't any good translators out there, I suppose it's that they can only afford to hire the cheapest ones. And because of DMP's lapses, she's built up an extensive body of translation work for her resumé, which helps her get even more work... I'm actually more disappointed with Sublime in this instance, as I said in the post, the examples I cited should have been caught by the editor. Sloppy translation compounded by sloppy editing!

      I did take a look at the scanlation for Blue Morning but it's even more riddled with mistakes...we're still better off getting the Sublime edition, but yeah, we deserve better for our money =___=

      Delete
  2. You know, I also thought there was something wonky about Kuze's conversation with Katsuragi in the library. The ensuing dialogue about the book of poetry made absolutely no sense to me.

    It's both disappointing and upsetting to know that we're paying a premium price for yaoi (it definitely costs more than Viz's other manga) and not getting the best quality in translations. To be honest, I couldn't care less for matters like typesetting and print quality as long as the work is suitably translated. I mean, isn't that we're really paying them for? I'm a purist of sorts, and I prefer that a translation be as accurate as possible even if certain other aspects are sacrificed for it.

    I understand that translations will invariably vary from person to person based on their interpretations. The thing that bugs me most about her translation as you pointed out was that it simply wasn't accurate (concerning the poetry). Even if some of the differences in your translation could be put off as minor, it's not something I find acceptable because goodness knows what other parts of the manga she has mangled? A miscue in translation can absolutely change the tone of a conversation, as well as a character's intent and meaning. And that is a BIG problem with me. We rely on dialogue to understand characters.

    It's telling how inept this translator must be if an intermediate Japanese reader's skills (I hope you aren't offended that I take a guess at your Japanese skills, please correct me if I'm wrong) are light years ahead of hers. By the way, I much prefer your translation. It reads smoother and obviously makes more sense.

    The worst part about this is that a large portion of readers obviously won't know or can't tell that we're getting a subpar translation, therefore ensuring that the mediocre translations will continue further down the line. I can't explain how upsetting this is because Blue Morning (Yuuutsa na Asa) happens to my favorite series that suBLime has licensed (probably right next to Crimson Spell and I'll pray that they don't use the same translator). Even worse, Blue Morning is probably the wordiest yaoi I've really come across in this genre, so it's doubly damning if things aren't getting translated well.

    Have you posted any of this as a review on Amazon? If not, I sincerely hope you considering doing so. You'd be doing the readers all a favor by pointing this out and encouraging other buyers to speak out to suBLime. I'd post this on their website, but their forum isn't up and to be honest, I find their representative on that site to be slightly snarky or unprofessional when it comes to complaints. She seems more intent on "correcting" people's complaints rather than just listening and hearing them out.

    Anyway, thanks for taking the time point this out. I can only hope that this gets to their ears somehow and they'll take more care to edit Yuuutsa much better down the road.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment! And no worries, I don't pretend that my Japanese is anything but basic, so like you I wonder how I am able to correct a supposedly professional translator. I can only put it down to laziness on her part; because I'm unsure, I tend to check every word, even the words I'm sure I know I still check to see if they've been combined with other words to make a phrase with a different meaning, whereas the "pro" won't check as much and hence mistakes ensue. What's damning is that she doesn't even go back to check when her translation makes little sense.

      I've already emailed Sublime and got a reply from their regular rep. Funnily enough, she did spend most of her reply correcting my complaint, explaining how there isn't an exact way to translate, how there are nuances a novice won't pick up, and, this part I found amusing, how you can't compare speech bubble to speech bubble because the words won't match up exactly. She said she couldn't see anything from my mail that would make the translation incorrect, which makes me doubt that she read any of the examples I gave. In the end, she said she could get someone to look over the books again but no-one would get back to me, which I took to be a polite fobbing off.

      She also told me that as well as the translator, they have a proofreader who knows Japanese, which was supposed to assure me but had the opposite effect since it appears that this proofreader is similarly inept at spotting inconsistencies in the text.

      Like you said, who knows how much of the translation is mangled? I've only looked at the passages that stood out as obviously strange in English but there could be many parts which sound ok in English but actually don't convey any of the original intent.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for your reply, maybe I´m overreacting but that woman ruined one of my favorite manga and I don´t want her to do the same in Sublime.

    The first time I read Doushitemo Furetakunai was online and I liked it so much! Later DMP (Juné) published it as "No touching at all" and I was like crying. I couldn´t believe how bad it was. The closeness of the characters, the feelings evoked, the feeling I felt the first time I read it ..everything was lost in that translation.

    Hope Sublime realizes that she is not a good choice. For the same salary I'm sure you can find someone better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I emailed Sublime, the person replying staunchly defended their staff, as you would expect, and I was pretty much dismissed offhandedly, so no, I don't think they'll be changing people any time soon =__= All people can do is hope that this translator isn't assigned to their favourite manga!

      Delete
    2. Yes, as expected. Maybe is time to cross our fingers.

      Delete
    3. Well, I hope you're not an est em fan because it looks like she translated the upcoming Tableau Numero 20 ^^;

      Delete