I've bought many Sublime books since they started up and have been mostly happy with their translations so far, that is until
Blue Morning. When I read volume one of Hidaka Shoko's
Blue Morning (translation by Jocelyne Allen), there were a couple of passages that I found somewhat confusing; I put it down to the cryptic nature of the plot and didn't think too much of it. However, in the very first chapter of the second volume there is a passage confusing enough to distract me and call into question the accuracy of the translation.
I've compared it to the Japanese text and really think it could've done better. My Japanese is pretty mediocre, my translations are done with the help of a dictionary and I'm totally not sure if they're correct, but even so, they still seem to make more sense than the Sublime version.
This is the passage beginning on page 23 of the print edition, where Akihito finds an odd book in the library.
Sublime text:
"Was this book always here?
Wasn't there a poetry collection here?
It's totally different from the other books."
It's implied that there isn't currently a poetry collection there and that the book in question is not a book of poems. However, Katsuragi goes on to explain that the book was placed there by a former student who was fond of poetry and the like; this implies that the book actually is a volume of poems, which contradicts the above text.
Japanese text:
"
こんな本あったか?
この辺り詩集の原本
じゃないか
他の書物とは全く毛色が違うな"
Romaji:
"Konna hon attaka?
Kono atari shishuu no genpon janaika
Hoka no shomotsu to wa mattaku keiro ga chigauna"
My translation:
"Was there always a book like this here?
Aren't all these books here original editions of poetry collections?
This one is a completely different type from the other books."
So what I think Akihito is saying is that it is a poetry book but of a different kind to the other poetry books around it.
~~~
Here's a comparison of another passage from chapter 1 where the Sublime translation just seems incorrect, page 6 of the print edition.
Sublime text:
"The houseboy Amamiya informed me that you're quite strong in Math and languages, but poor in theory, reading and the like.
He intimated that your head is somehow too thick and that finances can't make it through."
Again, there's a slight contradiction here, Katsuragi's good at maths but bad at finance? Sure, there's more to finance than maths but the remark doesn't quite follow on from the previous criticism of his theory/reading.
Japanese text:
"
書生の雨宮から聞いたが, お前は数学や語学には強いが論読などは苦手なようだな
どうにも頭が固すぎるというか, 融通がきかないという口振りだったが"
Romaji:
"Shosei no Amamiya kara kiita ga, omae wa suugaku ya gogaku ni wa tsuyoi ga rondoku nado wa nigatena you dana
Dounimo atama ga katasugiru to iu ka, yuuzu ga kikanai to iu kuchiburi datta ga"
My translation:
"I heard from the live-in student, Amamiya, that you are strong in Math and languages but weak in discourse and the like;
that somehow you are too obstinate, that you are not adaptable in your opinions."
The two translations of the second line differ significantly due to the phrase
融通がきかない .
融通 on its own can mean finance, but
融通がきく taken as a phrase means to be flexible (
きかない is the negative conjugation of
きく). Also, I've used a different meaning of
論読, translating it as 'discourse' instead of 'theory/reading'. I can't find a dictionary entry for
論読 but
論 can mean theory or discussion so the word 'discourse', meaning written or spoken discussion of a subject, sounds appropriate to the context.
~~~
Another line that I immediately knew was wrong from the context, chapter 8 page 97, when Amamiya visits the Kuze house.
Sublime text:
"My! All that aside, it really is only the maids I don't know!
No matter how many years have passed."
This line indicates that Amamiya knows everyone in the household except for the maids, yet he goes on to say that it's only Kiku who recognises him and that he was nearly chased out, which is clearly a contradiction. Even without checking the original text, it's easy to guess that he's actually saying he sees only unfamiliar faces.
Japanese text:
"
いや, それにしても知らない女中ばっかりだねえ!
いくら十年ぶりとはいえ"
Romaji:
"Iya, sorenishitemo shiranai jochuu bakkari danee!
Ikura juunenburi to wa ie!"
My translation:
"My, even so, I really don't know any of the maids!
Even if you say it's been ten years."
~~~
These examples are the few that I remember off the top of my head, I'm afraid I can't be bothered to check both volumes line by line but it's likely that these are not the only questionable lines dotted around. Some readers might have read or heard of the infamously bad DMP translation of Yoneda Kou's
Doushitemo Furetakunai and won't be surprised to learn that the translator of that manga is the one and same now working on
Blue Morning.
Again, I must stress that my Japanese is shaky at best (I learn from playing BL/otome games lol) so please do feel free to slap me down and correct me where I'm wrong. However, even if my translations are way off the mark, the above examples still serve to illustrate the inconsistencies in the text which should have been spotted by the editor. The majority of the translation reads fine so it's not like there are mistakes on every other page, it's just unfortunate that even a few blips can be enough to cast doubt on the entire translation.
Update: Another translation comparison added.
This is a passage from volume 1 that I found confusing and, sure enough, it doesn't bear up well under comparison. Selected lines from chapter 4 pages 149-150.
Sublime text:
"I asked the Dean and he said he'd attend.
...
As long as he brings in money, he can hide his origins.
...
I doubt he takes after his mother to that extent."
Japanese:
"学園長
に聞いたが首席
だそう
だな
...
金さえ積めば出自
など隠せるものだよ
...
あそこまで母親に似るとは思わなっかたからな "
"Gakuenchou ni kiita ga shuseki da sou dana
...
Kane sae tsumeba shuuji nado kakuseru mono dayo
...
Asoko made hahaoya ni niru to wa omowanakkata karana"
My translation:
" I asked the school Dean and it seems that he's the top student.
...
As long as you have money, even something like his origins can be covered up.
...
I didn't think he'd come to resemble his mother so strongly."
